June 1, 1997 The Play: http://the-tech.mit.edu/Shakespeare/Comedy/asyoulikeit/asyoulikeit.3.2.html The Author: [Behind the Arras] Orlando: Shakespeare, the electric bard. The Cast: [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Puck(#8651) to Rosalind [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: MacDuff(#9593) to Celia [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: mystico(#2619) to Orlando [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques The curtain rises on... Some place in the Forest of Arden... [public] Celia enters, reading a paper [prompter] Celia: Now we skip the long poem and such. [public] Celia: Didst thou hear these verses? [public] Rosalind: O, Yes, I heard them all, and more too; for some of them had in them more feet than the verses would bear. [public] Celia: That's no matter; the feet might bear the verses [public] mystico chuckles. [public] Rosalind: Ay, but the feet were lame and could not bear themselves without the verse, and therefore stood lamely in the verse. [public] Celia: But didst thou hear without wondering how thy name should be hanged and carved upon these trees? [public] heather laffs [public] mystico: hrm.. [public] mystico: celia...rosalind.. [public] Rosalind: I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder before you came; for look here what I found on a palm-tree. I was never so berhymed since Pythagoras's time, that I was an Irish rat, which I can hardly remember [public] mystico: sounds like Shakespeare....but maybe i'm wrong. [public] Celia: Trow you who hath done this? [public] Rosalind: Is it a man? [public] mystico: and if it's Shakespeare...it'd have to be As You Like It, wouldn't it? [public] heather: and all the world is a stage... :) [public] Celia: And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck. Change you colour? [public] mystico: on the other hand, i could totally be off. [public] Rosalind: I prithee, who? [public] mystico: let's see... [public] heather: well, they aren't paying any attention to us, what should we sing while we wait? [public] mystico: what scene and what act... [public] Celia: Oh lord, lord! It is a hard matter for friends to meet; but mountains may be removed with earthquakes, and so encounter. [public] mystico idles for a few to think. [public] Rosalind: Nay, but who is it? [public] Celia: Is it possible? [public] Rosalind: Nay, I prithee now with most petitionary vehemence, tell me who is it. [public] Celia: O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful wonderful! and yet again wonderful, and after that, out of all whooping! [public] Rosalind: Good my compexion! dost thou think, though I am caparisoned like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my disposition? [public] Rosalind: One inch of delay more is a South sea of discover; [public] Celia: Long pause, while Rosalind types [public] heather grins [public] Rosalind: I prithee, tell me who is it quickly, and speak a pace. I would thou couldnst stammer, that thou mightst pour this concealed man out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of a narrow-mouthed bottle, either too much at once, or none at all. [public] mystico: aha, remembered it. [public] Rosalind: I preithee, take the cork out of they mouth that I may drink thy tidings. [public] Celia: So you may put a man in your belly. [public] Rosalind: Is he of God's making? What manner of man? Is his head worth a hat, or his chin worth a beard? [public] Celia: Nay, he hath but a little beard. [public] mystico: III, ii. 209. [public] mystico: er. III, ii, 209. [public] mystico: but now you're past that. [public] heather: very good mystico :) [public] mystico can be Orlando, when he enters. [public] Rosalind: Why, God will send more, if the man will be thankful: let me stay the growth of his beard, if thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin. [public] Celia: It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler's heels and your heart both in an instant. [public] mystico runs to fetch his `Works of William Shakespeare' [public] heather giggles, you guys are good :) [public] mystico: who will be Jaques? [public] Celia: I' faith, coz, 'tis he. [public] heather: i don't have it :( [public] Rosalind: Nay, but the devil take mocking: speak, sad brow and true maid. [public] heather: my bro does, but he's not hear :( [public] Rosalind: Orlando? [public] Celia: Orlando. [public] Rosalind: Alas the day! What shall I do with my doublet and hose? What did he when thou sawest him? [public] heather: he's coming ;) [public] Rosalind: what said he? [public] Rosalind: How looked he? [public] Rosalind: Wherein wehnt he? [public] Rosalind: Where remains he? [public] heather: to get his hsakespeare book :) [public] Rosalind: How parted he with thee? and when shalt thou see him again? [public] heather: ya want the right lines donta ya/ [public] Rosalind: Answer me in one word! [public] heather: any second now... [public] heather: one word [public] Celia: You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first; 'tis a word too great for any nouth of this age's size. To say ay and no to these particulars is more than to answer in a catechism [public] Sabin: later everyone [public] heather: bye Sabin! [public] Rosalind: But does he know that I am in this forest and in man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he wrestled? [public] Celia: It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the propositions of a lover: -- but take a taste of my finding him, and relish it with good observance. [public] Celia: I found him under a tree, like a dropped acorn. [public] Rosalind: It may well be called Jove's tree, when it drops forth such fruit. [public] Celia: Give me an audience, good madam. Caspian pages: I'm on my way to you, Celia. Caspian pages: I'm now in Cafes and Clubs Caspian pages: I'm now in Puzzles - Entertainment Entrance Caspian pages: I'm now in Ocean and Mountain Simulations Caspian pages: I'm now in Mountain Simulation Caspian pages: I'm now in Blairgowrie Caspian pages: I'm now in Auld Brig o' Don Caspian pages: I'm now in Rocky Trail Caspian has arrived. Caspian arrives from Rocky Trail. Caspian says "I was called here by Celia." [public] Rosalind: Proceed. [public] Celia: There lay he, stretched along like a wounded knight [public] Rosalind: Though it be a pity to see such a sight, it well becomes the ground. [public] Celia: Cry, holla! [public] Celia: to thy tongue, I prytheee; it curvets unseasonably. He was furnished like a hunter [public] Rosalind: O, ominous! he come to kill my heart. [public] Celia: I would sing my song without a burden: tho bring'st me out of tune. [public] Rosalind: Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. Sweet, say on. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Celia: You bring me out.--Soft! comes he not here? [public] Rosalind: Tis he: slink by and note him. [public] Jaques: I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I had as lief have been myself alone. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, [public] Orlando: I thank you too for your society. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: God b'wi'you! Let's meet as little as we can. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: I do desire we may be better strangers. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: I pray you, mar no more trees with writing love-/songs in their barks. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading [public] Orlando: them ill-favour'dly [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: Rosalind is your love's name? [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: Yes. [public] Orlando: er. Yes, just. [public] Rosalind swoons off stage [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: I do not like her name. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: There was no thought of pleasing you when she [public] Orlando: was christen'd. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: What stature is she of? [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: Just as high as my heart. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been [public] Jaques: acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conn'd [public] Jaques: them out of rings? [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from [public] Orlando: whence you have studied your questions [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: YOu have a nimble wit: I think 'twas made of [public] Jaques: Atlanta's heels. Will you sit down with me? and [public] Jaques: we two will rail against our mistress the world and [public] Jaques: alll our misery. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: I will chide no breather in the world but myself, [public] Orlando: ahgainst whom I know most faults. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: The worst fault you have is to be in love. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] heather: i gotta go folks :) [public] Orlando: 'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue. [public] Orlando: I am weary of you. [public] Orlando: heather: adieu, my lady. :) [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found [public] Jaques: you. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Rosalind: parting is sweet sorrow, heather....ooops, sorry, wrong play. [public] heather: seeya mystico, and puck and MacDuff [public] Orlando: He is drown'd in the brook: look but in, and you shall see him. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: There I shall see mine own figure. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Orlando(#2619) to Jaques [public] Jaques: I'll tarry no longer with you: farewell, good Signior Love. [*log_imp] * NAME CHANGE: Jaques(#2619) to Orlando [public] Orlando: I am glad of your departure: adieu, good Monsieur Melancholy.l [public] heather: bye :) have fun :) [public] Orlando whews. [public] Rosalind [to Celis [public] Orlando waves. [public] Celia hands Orlando/Jacques the Academy Award [public] Orlando grins. [public] Rosalind: I will speak to him like a saucy lackey and under that habit play the knave with him. Do you hear, forester? [public] Orlando: thank you...really, i couldn't have done it without the rest of the cast.. [public] Orlando: Very well: what would you? [public] Rosalind: i pray you, what is't o'clock? [public] Orlando: You should ask me, what time o' day: there's no clock in the forest. Bookcase> The clock chimes "The time is now Sun Jun 1 12:03:18 1997." [public] Rosalind: Then there is no true lover in the forest; ese sighing every minute groaning every hour would detect the lazy foot of Time as well as a clock. [public] Orlando: And why not the swift foot of Time? had not that been as proper? [public] Rosalind: By no means, sir: Time travels in divers paces with divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles withal, who Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal, and who he stands still withal. [public] Orlando: I prithee, who doth he trot withal? [public] Rosalind: Marry, he trots hard wiht a young maid between the contract of her marriage and the day it is solemnized: if the interim be but a se'nnight, Time;'s pace is so hard that it seems the length of seven years. [public] Horses_Hooves: Clip clop, clip clop [public] Orlando: Who ambles time withal? [public] Rosalind: With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man that hath not the gout, for the one sleeps easily because he cannot study and the other lives merrily because he feels no pain, the one lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning, the other knowing no burden of heavy tedious penury; these Time amble withal. [public] Clock: Tick tock, tick tock [public] Orlando: Who doth he gallop withal? [public] Rosalind: with a thief to the gallows, for though he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon htere. [public] Orlando: Who stays it still withal? [public] Rosalind: With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep between term and term and they perceive not how time moves. [public] Orlando: *smiling* Where dwell you, pretty youth? [public] Rosalind: With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirst of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat. [public] Orlando: Are you native of this place? [public] Rosalind: As the cony that you see dwell where she is kindled. [public] Orlando: Your accent is something finer than you could purchase in so removed a dwelling! [public] Sheep: Baaaaaa [public] Orlando chuckles. [public] Rosalind: I have been told so of many: but indeed an old religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth an inland man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in love. [public] Rosalind: I have heard him read many lectures against it, and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched with so many giddy offences as he hath generally taxed their whole sex withal. [public] Orlando: Can you remebver any of the principal evils that he laid to the charge of women? [public] Rosalind: There were none principal ; they were all like one another as half-pence are, every one fault seeming monstrous till his fellow-fault came to match it. [public] Orlando: I prithee, recount some of them. [public] Rosalind pets the sheep as she speaks. [public] Orlando smiles at the sheep. [public] Rosalind: No, I will not cast away my physic but on those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that abuses our young plants with carving "Rosalind" on their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns and elegies on brambles, all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind. [public] Rosalind: If I could meet that fancy-monger, I would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of love upon him. [public] Orlando: I am he that is so love-shaked: I pray you, tell me your remedy. [public] Orlando anxiously waits for Rosalind to finish typing. [public] Rosalind: There is none of my uncle's marks upon you; he taught me how to know a man in love' in which cage of rushes I am sure you are not a prisoner. [public] Orlando: What were his marks? [public] Rosalind: A lean cheek, which you have not, a blue eye and sunken, which you have not. [public] Rosalind: an unquestionable spirit, which you have not, [public] Rosalind: a beard neglected, which you have not [public] Orlando rubs his cheek. [public] Rosalind: but I pardon you for that, for simply your having in beard is a younger brother's revenue: [public] Rosalind: then your hose should be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything about you demonstrating a careless desolation; [public] Rosalind: but you are no such man; you are rather pointdevice in your accoutrements as loving yourself than seeming the lover of any other. [public] Orlando: *chuckling* Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love. [public] Celia looks on skeptically [public] Rosalind: Me believe it! you may as soon make her that you love believe it; which I warrant, she is apter to do than to confess she does: that is one of the points in which women still give the lie to their consciences. [public] Rosalind: But, in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired? [public] Orlando: I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he. [public] Rosalind: But are you so much in love as your rhymse speak? [public] Orlando: Neither rime nor reason can express how much. [public] Rosalind: Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as a madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punished and cured is that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I profess curing it by counsel. [public] Orlando: Did you ever cure any so? [prompter] Orlando: long line! long line! :) [public] Orlando seats himself on a nearby stump. [public] Rosalind: Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to woo me: at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing and linking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, insconstant, full of tears, full of smiles.... [public] Orlando raises an eyebrow. [public] Rosalind: for every passion truly anything, as boys and women are for the most part cattle of this colour: would now like him, now loathe him; [public] Rosalind: then entertain him, then foreswear him. [public] Rosalind: now eep for him [prompter] Orlando hehs. [public] Rosalind: then spit at him. [public] Orlando eeps. [public] Celia: [public] Celia <===== Speechless, as always [public] Rosalind: then yadda yadda yadda....And thus I cured him; and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in't. [public] Orlando laughs. [public] Orlando: I would not be cured, youth. [public] Celia lol [public] Rosalind: I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind and come every day to my cote and woo me. [public] Orlando: Now, by the faith of my love, I will: tell me where it is. [public] Rosalind: Go with me to it and I'll show it you: and by the way, you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go? [public] Orlando: With all my heart, good youth! [public] Rosalind: Nay, you must call me [public] Rosalind: Rosalind [prompter] Orlando whoofs. [public] Rosalind: Come, sister, will you go? [public] Shakespeare: exeunt. [public] Celia exits [public] mystico whees. [public] mystico: that was fun. [public] Rosalind bows! then curtsies, then looks at her costume and bows again. [public] mystico: okay...i'd love to stay for Scene III but i really have to go. [public] Crowd_down_front applauds wildly [public] Orlando bows deeply. [public] Crowd_down_front whistles! [public] Jaques waves to the crowd. [public] Jaques: You like me! You really like me! [public] Crowd: Author! Author! [public] Shakespeare bows. [public] Stage_Directions: Meanwhile, in another part of the forest..... [dressing room] mystico: oh god no. [dressing room] mystico: let's put it off until tonite. :) [dressing room] Puck: no me. I gotta stretch my fingers. [dressing room] mystico: i gotta eat lunch. [dressing room] mystico: and then go to my recital. [dressing room] mystico: but i'll be back. and then we can finish. :) [dressing room] MacDuff closes the log